Christian Internet Code of Ethics

As a Christian who is active on the internet, I hold myself to certain standards of conduct. They are: * I guard my online relationships * I am careful to visit websites that do not compromise my life in Christ * I take care that my written communications reflect Christ in my life * I guard my time to assure that my time online is kept in proper balance with the rest of my life

Friday, January 9, 2009

THE GOSSIP TEST

This is from a blog that I read regularly.

It was very appropriate since I had a very troubling experience with a gal that I only wanted as a friend. She accused me of gossip. I don't think I did. But I will chew on this post today and ask the Lord to search my heart. I honestly wish this had never happened but it did and I really don't know what to do about it. I will see this gal every Sunday. I just want to go up and hug her and wind the clock back like it never happened. I have apologized and she accepted but one does never forget. Only God can do this. I feel like going to a different church and just leaving the area all together. That is not likely. Like I said earlier, all I ever wanted from her is her friendship. She is a such a neat gal and very talented. I am sure I could have learned so much from her. Now, that is gone forever. I am still reeling over this and very sad still. I have never had such an encounter ever. I am praying that she can still say Hi to me and that this has not caused her to too much heartache.



Ask yourself these questions about the words you speak and the things you share:

*Is the person you're telling the information to a part of the problem or a part of the solution?
*If they're not a part of the problem, and they're not a part of the solution, then probably it's something you should not be saying.
*Is it true?
*Is what you are sharing kind?
*Will it build up, will it edify the person of whom I'm speaking?
*Is it necessary?
*Does the person I'm talking to need to know what I am telling them?
*If this were about me, would I want it shared with someone else?
*Would I mind if the person I'm talking about were standing right here?
*What's your motive in talking about it?
*Do you want to see the person you are talking about restored?
*Do you care that they will be restored spiritually, or do you just want to undo them; you just want to hurt them; you just want to punish them?
*If you're a part of that person's life, if you have a relationship there, you're part of their network of relationships, what do you do?
*If you have gossiped, acknowledge your sins of the tongue.
*Acknowledge the sins of your heart-what was it in my heart that caused you to gossip?
*Confess to God the root issues—the pride, the jealousy, the wanting to look better, the comparison, the competitive spirit, the underlying sinful heart attitudes.

"Put off all slander and evil speaking and put on a heart and words of kindness and love and forgiveness and grace—not just put off the slander, but replace the slander with a heart of kindness and goodness and grace and love. "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32). Be intentional about speaking words that edify, that build up, that put other people in a positive light." (Nancy Leigh DeMoss)

2 comments:

a woman found said...

Susan, I found your blog from the link at Chats With an Old Lady. My heart is going out to you tonight! I'm praying for you! Run to the cross and let His mercy wash you and comfort you!

I don't think ANY of us can say we're not guilty of gossip. And I've been both on the getting called on the carpet for gossiping and trying to lovingly yet firmly point out gossip in someone i care for very much. It's hard not to get offended at each other, that's exactly what satan wants from us... to get offended and seperate from each other. But we are ONE body. And I pray that you and this gal will actually form and deep and genuine friendship in Christ because of this. I'll be praying for you and her tonight.

Prayerfully and in love,
Sheila

Sharon Brumfield said...

I have been here and my heart so hurts for you.
Years ago there was a family that we were friends with....we really enjoyed their company. Then one day I shared something about their family with someone else. It was in noway personal or intended to disrespect them. When it got back to them....that was how the story was told. Nothing I could do could make it right....I was crushed.
Years later she realized what had happened and apologized.
At the time the only thing that helped me was the statement that I had heard....Sometimes rejection is Gods protection.
I will pray for you girl.....just remember that He knows the truth and He is your defense. I know it does not take the hurt all away...but He will keep working to make it better.
Love you